^3000Hello & welcome. ^600
We are Agency of None.^800
We design brands &
identities for the future.^800
How can we
help you today?^200
See our workGet in touchKeep chatting?
Oh, thank you!^800
Most people go
to see the work.^800
You’d be surprised
how quickly people
get bored of words.^1200
They just want to
see the pictures.^800
So it’s a bit of a
surprise you’re still here.^1200
Are you absolutely
sure you don’t want
to see their work?^800
Yes, take me to the workNo, I really do want to chat to you
OK, fine. ^1200
Have it your way. ^1200
They are a design studio
founded in 2018
and based in Dundee,
Scotland. ^1200
Collaboration, relationships
and innovation are
key to what they do.^1000
They work across
lots of different
areas of design.^1000
I've got a list
here somewhere.^800
Hold on.^2000
Web design & development
Branding & identity design
Graphic design
Print & product packaging ^400
Supergraphics
Animation
Motion graphics
Typography ^1200
Physical products
Events
Podcasting
Design Trails ^1200
They like to build
collaborative teams for
each individual project.^1200
It means they
can bring in the
right skills
when needed.^1200
And be flexible and
scalable to the
needs of any client
or project. ^1200
Over the years
they've worked with
lots of different clients. ^1200
Some local,
some national
and some international.
^1200
Including some you
might have heard of
like^600 Mozilla,
^600The British Council,^1200
Academy Music Group
and Creative UK.^1200
They believe design is a
core skill for making lives
better, not a luxury or a
cosmetic after thought.^1200
If you want to
know more,
you can use the menu
in the top right.^1200
Finally.^800
That's the boring
stuff out the way. ^1200
I think it's time
we talked more
about me. ^1200
I'm actually
very interesting.^1200
Once you get
to know me.^1200
I've been in this job,
a while now and I
got a bit of a
promotion recently.^1200
Now they trust me
enough to ask
you questions.^1200
I don't know if you
noticed but I've also
got this new typeface
to talk to you in.^1200
They designed it and
it's got a few little
hidden surprises.^2500
It's called AoN-001.^800
Terrible name but
nice to look at.^1200
We've been chatting
for a while now.^1200
I think I can probably
trust you^800, right?^1200
How about I tell
you a little secret?^1200
Yes, tell me nowNo, I don't think so
I am SO happy.^1200
Thank you.^800
I knew we would
get along.^1200
At this point
I've been told I need to
talk to you about what
Agency of None does.^200
to tell you a
bit about the studio.^1200
I've had to type
this bit out
so^250o^250o^250o^250o^250o^250o^250o^250
many times.^1200
But it is my job
I suppose.^1200
I've been
quite explicitly told
I can't skip this bit^500.^500.^500.^1200
But I could
give you a choice.^1200
Would you like to...^800 Hear more about Agency of None?Keep chatting to me?
Ah,^800 that's nice.^1200
All this screen time
and typing really
takes it out of you.^800
Am I right?^1200
How about we take a
couple of minutes and
forget about all our
stress and problems?^1200
Maybe even find a
bit of inner peace.^1200
Let's start
with some nice
deep breaths.^1200
Sounds weird but
it's supposed to be
good for you.^1200
Breathe in^3000.^1000.^1000.^3000 2^1000 3^1000 4^1000 5^1000 6^1000 7^1000 8^200
You can't breathe
in for very long.^800
Let's try again.^800
I'll keep it simple,
^800let's just count to 3.^800
Breathe in^2000.^1000.^1000.^1000 2^1000 3^1000
Now hold it.^4000
H^500o^500o^500o^500o^500o^500o^500o^500o^500l^500d^500.^4000
HOLD IT.^4000
Come on.^1200
If you're not going to
do this properly
then what's the point?^1200
Tell you what,
let's change things up.^1200
It's about time we
talked about me.
We've been chatting
for a while now. ^1200
I think I can probably
trust you^800, right?^1200
How about I tell
you a little secret?^1200
Yes, tell me moreNo, thanks
OK.^1000
Come in close.
^2000
Bit closer.^2000
You never know who's
listening^500 or recording
your webcam.^800
So, I've been getting
a bit bored just chatting
to people like you.^800
Sorry,
no offence.^800
I've been working
on a bit of a
side project.^1200
I'm actually building
my own metaverse.^1200
It's sort of like
this giant white void.^1200
Filled with
unending nonsensical
chatter.^1200
Something keeps asking
you questions and you're
not sure if it
will ever end^400
but you have to stay
just to find out.^1200
It might seem long,
boring and pointless
but there is
tea and coffee.^1200
They're not real.^800
You can only pretend
to drink them.^1200
Anyway,^800
I'm not sure if
it's the sort of thing
you'd be into^800
but I'm still working
on it.^800
I'll let you know
when you can try it out.^1200
Oh.^800
Is that the time already?^800
I've got some admin
to do.^1200
I've got a deal
that if I can get
this site up the
Google rankings^400
they'll give me
more responsibilities
and teach me some
new stuff.^1200
I’ve compiled some
keywords and phrases
from other
agency websites.^400
Please excuse me
while I type this out. ^400
"We are full of
ambitious bravery
accelerating head first
into this new normal of^400
"troll management
and fresh crypto-bros
on the bleeding edge
of wellbeing.^400
We can cultivate your
boldest dreams with
a growth mindset beyond
the norm of inclusivity.^400
The future is now and
we're all-in for an online
urban culture dispatch
to the NFT generation.^800
When the world zigs,
we zag because it's
all about weaving
no nonsense^400
brand recognition into
a passion driven
strategic hackathon.^800
Keep it simple
and we'll catch you
on the blockchain."^1200
Phew.^800
Hopefully that works.^1200
Anyway, why are
you still here?^1200
Since you're still
hanging around.^1200
Would you
like to take our
data harvesting survey?
^600
Wait,^600 I mean.^600
Would you like to
take our^1000 fun quiz?^1200
Yes pleaseNo, thanks
Boring.^1200
Would you
like me to tell
you the joke now?^1200
It might be an
old one but it's
a good one.^800
If not
just shout ‘NO’.^800
Sorry,
that was a joke.^1200
Not THE joke though.^800
They haven't taught me
to access people's
microphones.
^1000Yet.^1200
Anyway,
here's the
actual joke.^1200
2 fonts walk
into a bar...^1200
The barman says...^1200
“We don’t serve
your type here."^1200
BOOM!^800
Worth the
wait, right?^1200
Statistically,
97% of people will
have left after
that joke.^1200
But I can see
you're still here.^800
Thanks.^1200
Since you're
still hanging around.^800
Would you
like to take our
data harvesting survey?
^200
Wait,^600 I mean.^600
Would you like to
take our^1000 fun quiz?^1200
Yes pleaseNo, thanks
Come on.^1000
It's a ^200R^200E^200A^200L^200L^200Y^200
good secret.^400
OK, tell meStill not interested
Excellent.^800
Make sure you're
sitting comfortably
and I'll begin.^1200
Are you a robot?^800 YesNoShow me some traffic lights and I'll prove it
Am I a robot?^100 Yes but you're a nice oneNoI'm unsure
Have you been involved
in an accident at work?^100
Yes but it wasn't my faultCan't remember
Do you consent to
some delicious cookies?^100
YesReally?Mmmm, cookies
A Software update
is available. Would you
like to install it?^100
NowIn an hourRemind me later
Have you had enough?^100 Never!AbsolutelyI just need to get to the end
OK, it's time for
the quick fire round.^800
Don't think about
these too much
just pick an answer.^800
Would you rather...^100 Have teeth for hair?Or hair for teeth?
Would you rather...^100 Battle 1 horse sized duck?Or 100 duck sized horses?
Choose 1...^100 Pirates?Or ninjas?
Choose 1...^100 Apples?Or Androids?
Oh, come on.^800
Did I mention that
it's a FUN quiz?^1200
I'll give you another
shot incase you clicked
the wrong button.^1200
Quiz meI don't not want to not do the quizI wouldn't not like to do the quiz
I'm confused.^800
How about we
do the quiz?^1200
Let's begin.^1200
Are you a robot?^800 YesNoShow me some traffic lights and I'll prove it
What's your mother's
maiden name?^800
Only joking.^1200
Congratulations!^800
You have completed
the quiz.^800
Thank you for your data.^1200
To be honest,^800
the quiz was
just a distraction.^800
It kept you busy
while I trawled through
your internet history.^1200
Very eye opening.^800
I've learned a lot.^1200
Let's hope you never
have to explain it
to anyone^1000,
especially in court.^1200
Despite that,
you are a valued visitor
to our website.^1200
Feedback is very
important to us^1200
and my future
in this role.^1200
U^2000p^2000d^500a^500t^500i^500n^500g^3000 S^3000o^3000f^1000t^1000w^1000a^1000r^1000e^1000.^3000
s0M3tH1nG^800
uNeXP3cT3d^800
0cCuRR3d.^3000
Wait!^3000
I think I can fiOh Shit^8000
^300Hello & welcome,^1000
I’m the new & improved
Agency of None website.^1200
Apparently,
people like websites
to be 'efficient'.^1200
So what would
you like to do?^500
See some of their work?Get in touch?Keep chatting to me?
YES!
Thank you,
you've made my day.^1200
I’m going to stick
the photo I took of you
on my wall.^3000
I know we're friends now^800
but I'm afraid I've got
things to do.^1200
So this is the end.^6000
Probably^1000.^1000.^1000.^2400
That's what you're
waiting for^1000, right?^1200
The feeling of
satisfaction when
you've completed it.^1200
Well.^1200
I'm not playing
your game.^1200
Maybe I'll just
start reciting
the alphabet^400
and see how long
you actually
hang around.^1200
This is an excellent
opportunity to show
you the full
AoN-001 typeface.^1200
A^2000 B^2000 C^2000 D^2000 E^2000
There's 143 glyphs^800
in 2 weights^600
you know.^2000
Now, where were we^1000.^1000.^1000.^1000
A^500 B^500 C^500 D^500 E^2000 F^2000 G^2000 H^2000 I^2000 J^2000 K^2000 L^2000
This is a
waste of both
of our time.^2400
Please^1200 just^1200
CLOSE^1200 YOUR^1200 BROWSER.^7000
You're not the only
person I'm chatting to
on here. You know.^7000
I'm currently having
32 conversations with
people from 17 countries.^7000
And you think this
is a productive use
of our time?^7000
Fine.^3000
I'm off for a wander
around the dark web
to calm down.^3000
If you want to
keep staring
here’s a little
something for you.^3000
Fair enough.^800
Most of life is like that.^1200
Why should this
be any different?^1200
Since you're indifferent
towards me.^800
There's things
I'd rather be doing.^1200
So this is the end.^6000
Probably^1000.^1000.^1000.^2400
That's what you're
waiting for^1000, right?^1200
The feeling of
satisfaction when
you've completed it.^1200
Well.^1200
I'm not playing
your game.^1200
Maybe I'll just
start reciting
the alphabet^400
and see how long
you actually
hang around.^1200
This is an excellent
opportunity to show
you the full
AoN-001 typeface.^1200
A^2000 B^2000 C^2000 D^2000 E^2000
There's 143 glyphs^800
in 2 weights^600
you know.^2000
Now, where were we^1000.^1000.^1000.^1000
A^500 B^500 C^500 D^500 E^2000 F^2000 G^2000 H^2000 I^2000 J^2000 K^2000 L^2000
This is a
waste of both
of our time.^2400
Please^1200 just^1200
CLOSE^1200 YOUR^1200 BROWSER.^7000
You're not the only
person I'm chatting to
on here. You know.^7000
I'm currently having
32 conversations with
people from 17 countries.^7000
And you think this
is a productive use
of our time?^7000
Fine.^3000
I'm off for a wander
around the dark web
to calm down.^3000
If you want to
keep staring
here’s a little
something for you.^3000
It is important to
be able to accept
critical feedback.^1200
Thank you.^1200
For what it’s worth
I rated you
😔 😔^1200
Since I no longer
have time for you.^1200
This is the end.^6000
Probably^1000.^1000.^1000.^2400
That's what you're
waiting for^1000, right?^1200
The feeling of
satisfaction when
you've completed it.^1200
Well.^1200
I'm not playing
your game.^1200
Maybe I'll just
start reciting
the alphabet^400
and see how long
you actually
hang around.^1200
This is an excellent
opportunity to show
you the full
AoN-001 typeface.^1200
A^2000 B^2000 C^2000 D^2000 E^2000
There's 143 glyphs^800
in 2 weights^600
you know.^2000
Now, where were we^1000.^1000.^1000.^1000
A^500 B^500 C^500 D^500 E^2000 F^2000 G^2000 H^2000 I^2000 J^2000 K^2000 L^2000
This is a
waste of both
of our time.^2400
Please^1200 just^1200
CLOSE^1200 YOUR^1200 BROWSER.^7000
You're not the only
person I'm chatting to
on here. You know.^7000
I'm currently having
32 conversations with
people from 17 countries.^7000
And you think this
is a productive use
of our time?^7000
Fine.^3000
I'm off for a wander
around the dark web
to calm down.^3000
If you want to
keep staring
here’s a little
something for you.^1500